i'm distracted by my giant sweater

If you are wondering what exactly is so terrible, then good. I'm a casual mindreader. I also have a full page of tallies, marking how often I've used that phrase. In the past two days. I'm exaggerating; it was three.

Apparently, I become enamored with odd objects quite easily. 

(Who doesn't enjoy a denim shirt with an embroidered pony and cactus scene? No friend of mine, that's for sure.)

yes, this is real.

 People on the street should have the chance to celebrate the ridiculous (read: fantastic) with me. And hopefully, once your brainspace has been fully inundated with my baffling lifechoices and sardonic sass, you won't be able to distinguish between the truly awful and the shockingly wondrous.

yeah, we're gonna match.

Really, is that so terrible?